Putting the BlogHer Dooce / The Bloggess Drama In Perspective

I attended BlogHer08. I attended the closing keynote. I was there for the so-called Dooce v. The Bloggess drama. My claim to fame. I didn't think it was much drama but it has spawned much debate and discussion in the blogosphere. So, what happened? In brief, in this blog, The Bloggess called Dooce a hobbit, and at BlogHer08, Heather aka Dooce mentioned the comment, but not the author, in her keynote address about how she reads every comment, and then Jenny stood up and said "Hey, that was me!" and said some more stuff. And it became THE DRAMATIC moment at the conference.

And I didn't really get it - although I'm not sure I would like being called a hobbit, but I probably would being a sci fi/fantasy geek anyway - because Jenny's post was actually flattering - as in Heather is similar to a being of mythical proportions because of how hugely famous she is. So I wasn't sure why Heather said anything about it, although perhaps it just happened to be the comment that she remembered while she was giving her keynote. And I also didn't get it because Heather was gracious and friendly - she wasn't doing anything more than commenting about how she does indeed read all the comments - the good, the bad, the hateful, the indifferent - so I'm not sure why Jenny said anything at all. And then I obviously didn't understand everything that was said during the keynote, so I missed something, because I didn't think it was the important moment. But it nonetheless became THE DRAMATIC moment. The moment that has been talked about long after the conference.

I read Dooce weekly - I think Heather is funny, touching and raw. And she has been a leader for all of us women bloggers - her success has made it so much easier for the rest of us. Plus, she has succeeded by being herself and succeeded hugely. And I also like Jenny's The Bloggess. To be frank, her blogs are so f-ing funny that I usually end up laughing so hard I snort, and sometimes even tinkle a little. Yes, having given birth vaginally, that happens, despite being a Olympic Kegel-er. In other words, I admire both of them and like their blogs - don't send my hate mail or think I'm being critical - this is just a comment on how stuff gets blown out of proportion.

But, in any event, I was reading the twitter happenings today, and a fellow twitter that I follow, twittered "Who is Heather? What drama?" And then a bit later, the same twitterer - "Heather, she has ten trillion followers - has she been twittering since birth?" And my point - the drama doesn't really mean all that much.

Be Nice to Me or I'll Blog About You and the Curse of Hairy Man Boobs

I haven't written a post for awhile - mostly because I was busy with BlogHer'08. I'll do a blog about that in a bit - I just am still intimidated by the amazing women I met and the depth and wittiness of their blogs.

BlogHer'08 came with lots of swag (or schwag - not sure which one is right). I love the t-shirt from CafePress. The slogan - Be Nice to Me or I'll Blog about You. It seems to sum up the relationship between my husband and me right now. He's a little concerned that our late night chats - the only time we really get to talk with two kids - are just fodder for the blog. That without the chats, I'd have nothing to write about. As if motherhood didn't get you enough fodder for a blog.

Our last conservation was ended with the admonition "you better not blog about this." What was our scincillitating conservation about? How men just don't have all the bad things happen to their bodies that women do as they age. I suppose some men worry about losing their hair as they age - but even that is sexy in some circles. Pot bellies? Perhaps not the most attractive thing, but certainly not a cause of worry for most men. My husband just laughs off the hair growing in his ears or the fact that he farts and pees and the same time - just like the stereotype of an old man.

Women, however, face saggy boobs, flabby tummies (esp. post childbirth), grey hairs, etc. Our culture seems to write women off after 40, even when they look as good as Goldie Hawn, Demi Moore, or Kelly Preston. And the joys of carrying a baby and delivering vaginally? Leaves you with hemorrhoids, stretch marks and the glorious experience of peeing when you laugh or sneeze.

Except I found one thing that men do not want. Hairy man boobs. And just to clarify - I don't mean a man with a hairy chest - I mean an overweight man that has "boobs" that are hairy. Soft, pasty, doughy MAN BOOBS. My husband told me I COULD NOT blog about hairy man boobs because then everybody would think that he has hairy man boobs. And, that seems to be the one thing men do not want, as confirmed Mike Adamick in Strollerderby where Hairy Man Boobs do not seem to be the new black. So, since he isn't being nice to me . . . .okay, so he doesn't have hairy man boobs. Really.

I can't contain myself - whoo-hoo BlogHer

I just can't wait for BlogHer '08. Really can't wait. Like I'm a 6 year old and it is 10 days before Christmas. I feel like I'm going to explode. I just signed up for a Beauty Makeover sponsored by Macy's. Can't wait for the community. Can't wait to meet fellow bloggers. Can't wait to sleep in a bed by myself. For an entire night. Can't wait to be in the heart of SF shopping.

Aaarrgh!

My husband would rather sit on the curb then attend the village that is BlogHer '08

My husband informed me while we were in bed, as I was falling into an exhausted slumber, that he is going to Boston. When is he going? At the exact same time I'm supposed to go to BlogHer '08, and he was supposed to watch the kids. Of course he forgot - his social secretary function never works.

The reason I'm telling you this is because it resulted in a discussion about what BlogHer '08 is, and he found out it is mostly women bloggers. And, that led to me telling him a story about talking to a senior partner at my firm about blogging. Both my husband and the senior partner don't really know what blogging is or that there is an extensive blogosphere, and dismiss it as a fad. I attempted to tell my husband a funny story about talking with the senior partner about tweeting, but my husband interrupted me:

"Just tell me the reader's digest version. It's 11 o'clock."

"But it isn't as funny if I condense it. And your the one that started this conversation this late."

"Reader's digest version."

So, I obliged him. Which wasn't funny. 3 sentences instead of several paragraphs. And then I had an epiphany.

"You and [senior partner] aren't interested in blogging because you want the reader's digest version of life. No emotional bonding and sharing." And I think that is it. Or at least a part of it. I like the community. I think mommy blogging is such a hit because we all want help, or at least to feel like we are not alone. I like knowing I'm not the only one having certain problems or thoughts. It takes a village to raise a child - and this is our village. So I shared this thought with my husband. And then, back to our conversation about the logistics of him going to Boston and the children. And, I asked him if wanted to go to the BlogHer '08 on Saturday if he was flying in late Friday night. My emotionally-stunted husband's reply?

"Attend a conference with a thousand women bloggers talking about blogging? I'd rather sit on the curb in front of the hotel the entire day."

And he has no idea with tweeting is.

The Smack Talking Wii Fit 'Bot Sucks!

The Wii Fit 'bot sucks. For those of you not obsessed with Wii Fit, the 'bot weighs you and measures your BMI, and then keeps track of your fitness progress. You are suppose to check the progress of your weight and BMI every so often, which I did last night.

And the Wii Fit 'bot told me I had gained 1.7 pounds, which was NOT my goal. I'm trying to lose weight, not gain it.

But I knew I had gained weight. I always do when it is that time of the month. But I didn't really think about it when I did my body fitness test on the stupid Wii Fit.

So, after telling me I had gained weight, the f-ing Wii Fit 'bot asked me if I knew why I had gained weight. And gave me several helpful reasons from which to choose. But, I'm guessing having been programmed by young boys in their 20's not particularly concerned about the emotional health of us post-children women, there wasn't a response provided for "that time of the month" or "the curse" or "I'm having my period!" So, I picked "I don't know" as my reason - that being the closest thing to I've gained some weight because I'm having my period.

The Wii Fit 'bot's response: "You mean you really don't know why you've gained weight."

Yes, I know, but you don't, you stupid thing, because some pimple-faced, skinny geek boy programmed your stupid responses, and he obviously wasn't thinking about ALL of the reasons you can gain weight. Obviously, the stupid thing was programmed by a not particularly sensitive individual, because the Miis get fat if you are fat. Like I needed that!

Am I supposed to take smack from the 'bot?

I love Wii Fit!

My husband got a Wii for Father's Day. Actually, although it was for Father's Day, he got it two weeks ago or so because my darling, curious son (ha!) found it in the back of the minivan, and had to show his dad. So, my husband got his present early. I tracked down the Wii Fit after pestering several Game Stops daily until I managed to call right when a delivery had arrived.

And I LOVE it. I don't love that the stupid 'bot told me I'm fat. Hey, I already knew that - that is why I bought the stupid game. And why exactly did the stupid 'bot have to make my Mii fat? (Okay, and if you really don't want anybody to know your weight or BMI, you can lock your weight and other statistics with a PIN - which I did.) But I really like the yoga, the hula hoop, the step and a bunch of other stuff. I've worked out more in the last several days than I have in years (unless giving birth counts . . . it should, don't you think?) So if you were on the fence about buying it, I encourage you to get it.

And did you know you could make the eyebrows into horns by twisting them around?

The Hottie and the Nottie

We just finished watching in about 15 minutes what has to be the lowest grossing movie in history - Paris Hilton's The Hottie and The Nottie. We spent our Saturday night - well, at least part of it, watching the movie.

Why were we watching this movie on a Saturday night? Our home is one of the homes in the picture. I'm not actually sure whose house it is - I think it is the good looking boyfriend's home. We didn't actually watch much of the picture - it is pretty awful. We just fast forwarded to the scenes shot in our house. But I can say that our home is in the lowest grossing movie in history - our claim to fame. Whoo-hoo!

And, just a note, Paris Hilton was very nice. I didn't expect her to be. But she was. Very nice, polite and gracious.