My husband needed to work on his PhD today. He is on the 15 year plan right now. Or more. I stopped keeping track about 10 years ago. In any event, he needed about 6 hours of time to work, without interruption, so I volunteered to take the kids out. And I just want to point out that I never get that luxury, because even when I'm supposed to have no interruptions when working at home, he still interrupts me every 10 minutes or so with questions - where are Princess' socks? what should I give them for lunch? do you really let the guinea pig run around on the grass? etc.
A fellow mom friend who was also abandoned by her husband today (who needed to work too) and I decided to brave Chuck E. Cheese with our 4 kids (2 each - we each have a boy and a girl - the girls are 3 and the boys are 5). I convince her it will be okay. That perhaps we'll have fun - at least we could, if we drank enough beer.
And it mostly was. (And we didn't drink any beer.) Although it was cold and drizzling here on and off (rare in Los Angeles in May), Chuck E. Cheese wasn't crowded. The kids had a great time. My pony-crazy daughter rode the horse (it is a horse that moves with a screen in front showing a race track) for about an hour without being interrupted. My son and his friend played basketball, skeetball and an alien shoot-em-up game for about 2 hours. We had a few interventions along the way. Then, my son runs up to me, visibly upset:
"Mama, I went pee in my pants."
Usually, this wouldn't be much of a problem because I am known for having extra clothing, a first aid kit, a fire extinguisher, spare change, blankets, towels, stuffed animals, DVDs, assorted tools, and a small army hidden in my minivan. But not today. The day before, my husband forced me to clean out my car because he wanted to vacuum up some kitty litter that had spilled all over my car (from a box purchased at Target - not used kitty litter). For some reason, he thought it ws toxic, although I only buy the kitty litter made from wheat. So it isn't toxic.
In any event, I didn't get the assortment of items back into the car. So I had nothing.
"Well, do you still need to go potty?" So, off we went running to address the need. And I discover that my son's pants are wet, not just slightly damp, and he needs a change. Super mom that I am, I realize that there is a used children's clothes shop in the same strip mall, so we head over to purchase new clothing while my friend watches the remaining 3 kids. However, the shop only has nice boy pants in a 6, and no underwear. We make do - I tell my son he can go commando. He looks a me strangely, but agrees. I roll the pant waistband.
After maxing out on Chuck E. Cheese, we decide to go see Prince Caspian. Which is fine and goes well, except I make 2 potty trips with my son and 1 with my daughter. And each time I go, I ask each kid whether a potty trip is needed, but they are completely unable to coordinate bathroom trips. So I'm not sure what happened in parts of the movie. With 3 potty trips for me and 2 for my friend, I think the people at the end of the aisle were a little annoyed.
On the way out of the theater, my friend and I both ask whether anybody has to use the potty. Of course, no one takes us up on this offer, being much more intrigued with the video games.
We head towards the car, and then my friend's son pipes up that he has to go. Number 2. Right now. So she ducks in to the nearest store. I wait with other three outside, where they are mock fighting with straw swords. My friend comes out and he son is wearing her sweatshirt tied around his waist, and nothing else.
"The bathroom was being used and he didn't make it. After all that junk food, he had a blow out. Standing in line to use the bathroom. So I just threw out it all out and wrapped the sweatshirt around his waist."
"He got his shoes?"
She just looked at me wearily.
Okay, so now both my son and his friend are commando. Not the best day for potty runs. So, we continue to head to the car, through the rest of the outdoor mall. The darling children pretend that they are centaurs from Prince Caspian. And my son's too big pants fall down to his knees, displaying one bare tushie to all, while his friend loses his sweatshirt entirely and displays everything. And the two of them think that it is awfully funny, so we had a heck of a time rounding them up. And hustling them to the car.
At home, I ask my husband whether he got his work done. He says that he did. And that he had time to sit in the soft sided jacuzzi and take a nap.
And he asks, "So, did you have fun?" Am I allowed to hit him?